Cocoa farmers harvest benefits

Things we take for granted in the western world are often luxuries in third world countries. Take for instance these Ivory Coast cocoa farmers who have never tasted the sweetness of chocolate. A chocolate bar costs 2 Euros which is an expensive luxury because these farmers only make 7 Euros a day.

What this great video as cocoa farmers try chocolate for the first time.

Dr. Puffy on Nuglife Radio Tonight!

10376821_687076531357511_9182893054661865266_nDr. Puffy will be on Nuglife Radio tonight at 9;30PM P.S.T. (West Coast time for you stoners.)

I will be sharing info on how to market your marijuana business. The future of the industry and why women should jump into the business now.

Folks, I want to share with you the very first marijuana talk show in the country! Yes, we have overcome.

 

Hosted by San Diego’s funniest Comedian Canna-Lebrity *(Culture Magazine) Medi Mike Boris, and 30 year addiction counselor and family physician Dr. Wayne Kelly.

 

NugLife is the very first syndicated radio show on cannabis education which brings comedy, music, and pot guests to talk all things marijuana through cultural analysis from the eyes of seasoned partakers in the Cannabis Community and call-in guests speaking their mind about marijuana reform.

Here is the link to listen live http://www.nugliferadio.com/nuglife-radio-podcast/

Grotto says no baby brats allowed

restaurant-sign-JPGI read this story and I just have to salute Chris Shake, owner of The Fishermen’s Grotto in Monterey. Shake posted a sign in front of the Grotto which said no booster seats, high chairs or strollers. The sign also says no yelling, crying or making loud noises. God bless Mr. Shake!

The Grotto has a rich history in Monterey. Many celebrities come to the Grotto every year. If you ever get a chance to visit the beautiful city of Monterey, CA go there and have the calamari and a bowl of clam chowder. It’s beyond heavenly. But the Grotto isn’t  cheap. For a dinner meal you can expect to pay more than $150.00 for two people.

Shake defends his sign and says as a business owner he has the right to create rules for his establishment. I agree.

Many mothers have made ridiculous comments on social media about the policies at the Grotto. One said, “How do we teach our kids to behave in a restaurant  when they can’t go to a fine dining establishment?” Bitch you take that brat to Applebee’s!

But even at when I go to Applebee’s I’m surprise how terrible children act. So parents I need to give you some rules to deal with your little angels.

1. Don’t ignore bad behavior. Parents your kids aren’t an amazing, special gift to me. In fact, most of the time your amazing brat is crying and screaming at the top of its lungs. This behavior is not acceptable. I have no idea what child psychologist advised parents to ignore the tantrums and crying, but if I find out who I’m going to strangle them. The grocery store is a place kids love to act out in. I was in the ice cream aisle and here comes this mother with her two screaming brats in the cart. After watching this woman go about her shopping for 10 minutes and ignoring the behavior, I grabbed a box of popsicles, I opened the box and handed both children their treat. I looked the mother in the face and said, “Back in the day my mother would  dump the cart in the middle of the aisle and take us home if we acted like that. You should heed this advice.” I handed her the box of popsicles and I walked away.

2. Behave yourself- Parents the restaurant isn’t jamboree. Your children shouldn’t be jumping, hopping, dancing, and or fighting with their sibling. There is no spinning, running, making faces or watching other diners eat. No yelling, crying etc….In fact, when your child is not eating they should be duct taped to the chair or stroller with a piece of tape over their little mouth.

3. When they lose their shit- When your amazing, special spawn decides to lose their shit, they make everyone’s ears ring and head hurt. We dont’ like that. Get up and take the child outside. Sometimes a little fresh air and a serious talk cures the problem. But if it doesn’t work get a fucking doggy bag and leave!

4. Dress appropriately- If you want to teach your kids how to act right in a restaurant you dress them accordingly. I see kids running around with P.J. bottoms and a tutu, and that’s little boys wearing that shit. Parents, when you let your children pick out their own clothes before going on a family outing and they choose a Superman cape with a nightgown and hiking boots, this only makes you look like an idiot. The kids have an excuse, they don’t know better, but you do.

5. Choose wisely- Parents, there are times when going to Applebee’s is OK, and then there are times when McDonald’s Playland is more appropriate. But fine dining is never an establishment we want you to bring your amazing spawn.

Show people respect and you will teach your children how to respect and behave no matter where they are. Meanwhile, let’s put it in the air for Chris Shake at the Grotto.

 

 

 

 

Naked and…WHAT!

naked-couplePeople, I think I just may have found the craziest show on television.

I’m not much into reality shows, but this one I am willing to make an exception for.

The show is called Dating Naked.” Yes people, and it is all you think and more.

So here is the set-up. You got three dudes and three chicks. Each will have a chance to a date all. The naked people go on leisurely dates of scuba diving, salsa dancing, four wheeling and then they get really drunk and that’s when the party begins.

People I admit, as I was toking on my bowl, I was a little  judgmental. But the higher I got the better the show! What a concept! Whoever thought of this show is a fucking genius! Take a look at this cinematic work of art.

I become “highly” intellectual when I smoke Purple Kush, and I started to think about my nakedness. How do I feel about my naked self? What is my overall perception of my body?
Whether male or female we are all slaves to imagery. Images tell us how we need to look, what is acceptable, and what is supposedly  beautiful. If we weren’t slaves to these images could we all just be happy with ourselves, and what we look liked?

Beauty an interesting concept. In western society we consider women who are skinny, sometimes scary skinny, as beautiful. It’s a sign of status when you can deny yourself food. However, travel over to Mauretania where the fat asses rule. Being fat is a sign of beauty, wealth, and status. In fact, women force feed their young daughters goat’s milk with rice to make them fat.

Porn has also defined our perception of what is beautiful. One of the fastest rising plastic surgeries requested in America today is vaginoplasty. Basically a nip-n-tuck of the vagina to improve the visual appearance, I suppose.

Boobs are another thing. Women want fake boobs round as baby planets firmly attached to the over-tanned bodies. Women buy fake hair from Indian women living half a world away, who thought cutting their hair was a sacrament to God. Women pay a lot of money to have hair that doesn’t belong to them. Just ask any black woman with a good weave. She’ll tell ya.

My least favorite fake style is acrylic nails. For one, if you try to light a joint you will catch the damn thing on fire. And for two, if God intended you to have fake nails he would have glued them on himself, and not some Vietnamese lady named Pho Lynn who works at Fancy Nails, who always asks you how your nail got burned.

In my early twenties I  was never appreciative of my naked body, which was stupid because I was in the military and I was hot. But now I am in my well ummm, in my late twenties I’m much more appreciative of this body God gave to me.

So in celebration take off all your clothes, stand in front of the mirror and give your body a great, big smile and a warm thank you for all that it has brought you through.

Here’s a great song about being naked. You’ll remember this one.

Eric Burden & WAR- Spill the Wine

 

 

 

 

Ladies packing heat

Iraqi women learn to shoot AK-47s to defend Baghdad from ISIS

Iraqi women learn to shoot AK-47s to defend Baghdad from ISIS

Iraqi women have joined together in learning how to defend their streets from ISIS, the rebel group who would prefer women to have babies and wear a burqa while living in the dark ages.

But these burqa wearing bitches aren’t going to take it anymore. They’re learning how to properly shoot AK-47s to protect themselves and their children from the rebels. I’ll I have to say is, “About fuckin’ time, Ladies!”

Every country which has women in their military is a civilized society. You know why? Because if you give a badass bitch a gun she will kill you, and that should have every man running with his tail tucked tightly around his nuts.

Women make excellent warriors. They have heart, and they are brave. American female soldiers train right beside their male counterparts. We live together, we work together, and we fight together.

But we don’t get any respect from our men. In fact, women are raped, beaten, and sexually harassed at such an alarming rate it’s hard to believe any woman would want to fight in the military. We have always had to persevere and overcome.

So being a female military veteran I think it’s time to form a new elite force of specially trained women so eloquently named “The Bitch Brigade.” The Bitch Brigade will consist of the baddest and smartest bitches America has to offer.

We specialize in training women in war-torn countries how to stand up for themselves and their children and fight. They will become sharp shooters and will have no problem killing a man dead in heals while applying mascara.

The female trainees will learn to throw grenades, launch rockets, etc. etc…by using targets which will inspire them to fight. These targets will be exact plastic replicas of every man who ever gave her attitude, called her a bad name, abused or humiliated her. The beauty is we will never run out of targets.

The TBB will learn to live in the dirt. But it won’t be long because the men rebels who are caught will end up in our prison camps. They will work their asses off for all the times they said to their wives they’d take out the trash and didn’t. In a week TBB will be living in a house bigger than Oprah Winfrey’s Hampton estate, all courtesy by the hard-working hands of war prisoners.

For all the times women had to wash shit stains out of underwear, listen to a male’s nonsensical logic, and for forcing us to bore evil spawn to propagate a fucked up world, prison time will go slow for rebel inmate.

In the prison camp inmates are issued three children to care for, all under the age of three, still wearing diapers, of course. Any crying from any child will result in serious repercussions. I don’t know what they are yet, but you can bet it will be serious. Prisoners will not be issued shoes because shoes are not in the budget, of course.

When the Queen Bitch, which is me, walks into the camp all prisoners will fall to their knees and drop their heads, for all the times women have had to bow down and defer to a man who is no more smarter than her.

Factually most men are dumber than apes.  And because of this genetic default, women will now be making all decisions especially concerning money, because buying a thousand dollar stereo system when the rent is past due just wasn’t cool.

Inmates will have some free time. The prisoner’s free time includes going on leisurely day trips to shop for food at Safeway. But the prisoner can’t go without those screaming, pooping brats. The prisoner must have the children at all the times because TBB doesn’t tolerate screaming and crying brats. We are tired when we get off work and we deserve to have a quiet, peaceful prison camp.

The prisoner needs to always be “on-point” when it comes to defusing a toddler tantrum. If the screaming goes on to long, or other people look at the prisoner’s children with disdain, it is an automatic demerit. Demerits are bad in the prison camp and can result in losing 10 minutes of solitude watching a favorite sporting event on TV. But if one of the kids cries or wants something, TV time is over. TBB doesn’t want to hear screaming kids when we get off work, we are tired.

Prisoners will become culinary artists because The Bitch Brigade needs to eat. Anything from a box, bag, or bucket will not be tolerated. And don’t forget the dessert! Remember TBB likes chocolate.

TBB doesn’t do cleaning. We are not losing a nail to help trouble-making rebel prisoners. Prisoners do all housework. If it is not to our satisfaction  TBB has the right to nit-pick, insult the cleaning abilities of the prisoners and tell the prisoner how to do it even if we have never done it before. The prisoner will do it our way.

After dinner and cleaning, the prisoner must listen to us yammer on about gossipy, shit that doesn’t matter, while folding a stack of laundry taller than Mt. Everest.

Prisoners will watch with glee all The Real Housewives series. This is for all the times that rebel hijacked the remote. No prisoner shall be allowed to touch the remote ever, this will result in receiving a taser gun to the ass.

It is written in the Bible the meek shall one day inherit the earth. Sorry boys, God says it in the Bible, so it’s true. And because God never said “Do on to other as you’d do to them,” women will now have the upper hand.

Once we conquer the world of war and tame testosterone we will finally have peace and our innocent children, who we love, will never have to died because of man’s violent decisions.

 

 

Botched execution leaves man gasping for air

Woods lives 2 hours after initial injection.

Woods lives 2 hours after initial injection.

Death row inmate Joseph Woods was executed by the state of Arizona, well sort of executed.

Woods was alive for nearly two hours. Onlookers said he gasped and snored, and gasped and snored, 614 times over two hours. Geesh, hurry up and die already, Woods!

The botched lethal execution has people questioning if the death penalty is inhumane. What is inhumane is tying someone to a gurney, and putting a needle in their arm, pumping drugs that cause the inmate to become paralyzed and suffocate, or in the case of Woods might not kill him fast enough.

What is humane? Humane is defined as having or showing compassion or benevolence. Lethal injection isn’t humane.

We keep trying to sanitize the death penalty. We want it, but we want it to not look like death. We want it to look like the inmate passed peacefully.

When I lived on the ranch we’d sometimes have to shoot an animal. Maybe the bull got to brave, so we shot him and he became steaks and burgers. We’d shoot horses, cows, geese, turkeys, sheep… and so on, and so on. If a ranch has a troubled animal they teach the others to be troubled too.

Once we had this wily bull, and one day I was on the top pasture when this bull with 20 cows behind him came rushing straight at me  He created a stampede. He broke the fence down, ran up into the grass, busted another fence almost killing me. Luckily, there was a giant oak tree I was able to hide behind. Needless to say it took one $1.39 bullet to the head and it was all over for Mr. Friendly. He reincarnated into a rump roast for Christmas.

You see, when you have a bad animal and you shoot him dead, you aren’t shooting him as a deterrent. His death doesn’t teach the cows anything. But what it did was get one bad bull off the pasture.

People who cause heinous crimes are animals. In fact they are worse! They are selfish psychopaths. They have no regard for humanity. And that is why they got the death penalty, because of that total disregard for others. They didn’t care about being humane when they committed their crime. So why are we concerned about them?

Here is the good doctor’s remedy. If that $1.39 bullet was good enough for the bull, it’s just fine for an DR inmate. You get a good marksmen and it’s fast and clean. You get a bad marksmen it might take a little longer. But what the hell anyways, right?

Folks, the bottom line death can’t be sanitized so that we are comfortable with our decision to take another man’s life.

Public Enemy-Black Steel In the Hour of Chaos

 

 

 

 

No sex for you

Everything is so serious and depressing. So this morning the good doctor is going to lighten things up, until the rapture next week when Jesus shows up.

This story just got me cracking up. A husband, who hasn’t been identified I’m sure because of embarrassment, made an Excel spreadsheet of the number of times in seven weeks he got the punanny  from his wife.

But not only did he keep a data sheet, but he also revealed all the excuses his wife made to deny him sex. He was a really nice husband when he emailed this shit to his wife at work, ensuring he will never get sex again! In retaliation his wife posted the spreadsheet on the social site Reddit, and it got a million hits in one day. Take a look.

1405976489-0

 

 

Folks, I’m not going to give remedies about how to improve your sex life with your spouse because we all know what to do if we wanna “tap that ass.” What I want to discuss is the addiction to social media.

Social media has taken over our lives, and apparently our common sense! I have to admit,  I like social media or I wouldn’t be sitting here blithering my silly opinions.

There was a time when I was addicted to Facebook. I wasn’t addicted to posting stuff, but reading people’s comments on a current event. It’s a study based on a hypothesis that the majority of Americans are a bunch of dumasses.

People who over post really get on my nerves, especially when they post those images that have silly sayings like “Love is forgiveness.” They’re trying to look more spiritually insightful than the rest of us. The people who post these are the unstable ones!

I hate cryptic posts like, “Something is going to happen.” No shit Sherlock, shit happens every day! The question, is it good shit or bad shit that’s going to happen? Why can’t they just post all the details so the rest of us nosey people know their business.

The other annoying poster which I call the “Religious Nut Sacks” always want to tell us how “”God is good” or “Jesus loves me” blah, blah, blah. If I was to post something like “Satan is the man” these religious ding-bats will start Bible quoting. Quoting a book which most of these people have never read!

Stop posting personal stuff. Don’t tell us CPS is at your front door and want to take your kids away. Totally un-cool. We don’t need to know you are an unfit parent, that’s TMI!

The most annoying are the political posts like, “Obama is a terrorist , without a birth certificate, and his weapon is The Affordable Care Act.” People, Obama is not a terrorist. In fact, he has killed more terrorists than G.W. Bush in his eight years. Oh, and where is Osama Bin Laden? Fucking dead, and is now fish food in the Persian Gulf.

People stop posting the idiocy!

OneRepublic- Secrets

 

Pot and radio do mix

10376821_687076531357511_9182893054661865266_n

Folks, I want to share with you the very first marijuana talk show in the country! Yes, we have overcome.

 

Hosted by San Diego’s funniest Comedian Canna-Lebrity *(Culture Magazine) Medi Mike Boris, and 30 year addiction counselor and family physician Dr. Wayne Kelly.

 

NugLife is the very first syndicated radio show on cannabis education which brings comedy, music, and pot guests to talk all things marijuana through cultural analysis from the eyes of seasoned partakers in the Cannabis Community and call-in guests speaking their mind about marijuana reform.

Here is the link to listen live http://www.nugliferadio.com/nuglife-radio-podcast/

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The gang from NugLife radio.

 

 

A little Hamas goes a long way

israelhamas2The Palestinian-Israeli conflict goes into its third week as both sides hurl rockets and bombs over neighborhoods. Let me just say I’m sick of these people!

But I do have a soft spot for the Palestinians. I suppose if a group of people immigrated and forced me onto a tiny strip of land, I’d be a little fuckin’ pissed. I would also be pissed if my land was stolen from me because of western politics which supported the resettlement after World War II. This influence caused a refugee crisis forcing the Palestinian people into Gaza which is a total of a 147 square miles for 1.6 million people.

But this happened in this country too when we colonized a land that didn’t belong to us. We pushed Native Americans into these small settlements called reservations. We say the Indian Nation has autonomy to govern their reservations, but they are still governed by federal law.

What one might call a terrorist group another calls freedom fighters. Hamas is the Palestinians freedom fighters. Hamas is their army and are primarily located in the Gaza Strip. Other groups such as Fatah and Hezbollah are primarily located in the West Bank. Fatah and Hamas are primarily located in Gaza. Hezbollah is located in the West Bank and are made of Shi’a Muslims, all different tribes.

The Indian Nation was made of hundreds of tribes all located in various parts of America. One reason the Indians were never able to conquer the colonists was because they were too busy fighting with each other! And it isn’t different for the people of Palestine, their infighting allows Israel to divide and conquer.

Israel does this in several ways. Israel uses religion to justify the conflict by calling it “The Land of Israel” for the “Children of Israel,” who are the chosen people by God, and manipulate Americans who just want to be close to the chosen people. And for that myth Israel gets $4 billion per year courtesy of our shady government. And that money isn’t just cash, its weapons too.

Another manipulation is the Holocaust when the Germans nearly killed all the Jews. Resettlement didn’t happened because the Jews owned that land. It happened because not one European nation would allow them to settle on their land even though the Jews were Eastern Europeans. In a way they blamed the Jews for the destruction of Europe. We allowed 700 Jews into America. What do you do when the world hates you? You lobby for resettlement somewhere else and call it yours.

Americans don’t get the full story about the fighting in Gaza and the West Bank.  In three weeks of fighting not one rocket has hit an Israeli house due to Iron Dome technology. But the Palestinians have rockets a.k.a. fireworks. And yet Israeli attacks include bombings, tanks, and air raids which have displaced 96,000 Palestinians. The death toll is 274 Palestinians and over 1,000 people injured.  Four Israeli soldiers suffered minor wounds from a rocket explosion when they illegally crossed the Gaza border.

We are lied to about the “human shield” myth. Where can a cache of weapons be stored when there is really no army, no army base, no place to store weapons? You hide them along the way in other people’s houses who also support the movement. Our militias still practice this tactic when storing weaponry for fear of confiscation by our shady government.

The proportionality of this conflict is a growing concern of the United Nations as it should be. It isn’t fair when one guy shows up to a fight with chopsticks and his enemy has a light saber. It’s time to remove our influence over that region by ending our support through money and weapons. Until every party has chopsticks, it’s simply not a fair fight.